Trusting the process

I am going to get one thing out of the way before this title begins to mislead you: I have trust issues. In the past they were of the garden variety, as in trust issues across the board. Only in more recent years through the wonders of therapy, practicing rigorous self love to cultivate a healthy self esteem, and only lending my time to restorative relationships with family and friends have I managed to whittle away at these issues. I've gotten to the point where all of my trust issues stem from one single inability: to trust in the process. Let me back track a moment here to point out that my formative years were dominated largely shaped by my perfectionist tendencies. My goals in life have almost always been molded around bettering myself ever day. Which is outstanding, and has arguably been one of the largest contributing factors to my personal & professional success. However, there is one major draw back towards wanting to constantly striving to for self improvement (or at times perfection), is the fact that when you are constantly focused towards becoming a better version of yourself you have envisioned in the future, it can become very difficult to enjoy life in the present moment and be content with where you are at.

This challenge has really come to play more recently in my life with my fitness endeavors. This should come as no surprise to anyone who has gone through any sort of health or lifestyle transformation. Couple together the fact that I have issues trusting the process along with the fact that I can see what I want to look and feel like in the future ever so clearly in my minds eye, and the results are of course me being frustrated with the fact that I am not there yet. As much as I want to wax on about how it is all about the journey, and not the destination, I would be lying if I said I didn't want to be there already.

But here is the catch: when it comes to fitness, there is no actual destination. All I am given is the day put before me. Some days I will go out and lift weights, and run three miles and feel unstoppable, and other days I'll be injured, or just feel like laying in bed and eating chocolate and catching up on Netflix. All of these things are totally okay. And I have to remind myself of that. Especially in recent weeks where I feel like my progress has plateaued and I am bored and unmotivated with my workouts. I get to be in control of that, and how it effects me. I want to keep pushing myself right now, so I'm added in more intense cardio, am switching up my weightlifting routines, and focusing on a higher protein diet to support these changes. And right now, that makes me happy.

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I am trying diligently to focus my energy these days in the present, and revel in the person I get to be every single day, rather than focusing solely on who I would like to become. The thing that I have come to realize is that when I focus less on what or where I could be, I am a lot more cognizant of where I am at, and realize the amount of progress I have made in all aspects of my life in even just the last few months. I think that goals can be an incredible motivation, and a beacon that can have a pivotal impact in the direction we take our lives. However, to live a life that is truly fulfilling, we must strive to be present in ours perspective and appreciate who we are and trust what we are capable of in our live every single day, so that our goals can simply guide us, rather than blind us along the way.